Monday, August 20, 2012

Looking Back on the Summer of Ups and Downs

Today was my first day back at work.  As a teacher, it's always fun seeing everyone after the summer break.  And of course, everyone asks the obligatory, "How was your summer?".  My response is usually, "It was great!".  However, today I didn't really know how to respond to that question.  I must say, I'm kind of relieved that this summer is finally at an end.  I have never had a summer with more ups and downs as this one.  It felt like I was on a roller coaster all summer.  I'd hit a high, then immediately a low.  My doctor had told me that I could stop taking my anti-depressant medication during the summer if I wanted to because I would be less stressed than I was during the school year.  I was good with that because I don't like taking lots of medication, so I took her suggestion.  Bad idea!  If any summer I needed to take my anti-depressants, it was this one!

My first week of summer, my dad received a call while we were in a meeting at church that my grandfather had passed away.  Before he had passed, all four of my grandparents were still alive.  So it was quite a shock.  I know that God's timing is perfect, though, because he had received Christ only a few weeks before.  He had already had to have both legs amputated and I know he was in so much physical pain, so I was at peace knowing that he was in a place where he was whole again.  Yet, it was still incredibly emotional to lose him and to say good-bye.

That very weekend we went to our family reunion, which was a high for my family.  It's at an amazing spot near Kerrville and Bailey had a blast.  Not to mention how great it is to always see family.  It was at the reunion that I realized I needed to take my medication during the summer.  As great as that weekend was, I just wasn't myself.  I was emotional, tired, easily frustrated, and very snappy with Scott.  All of those were symptoms I had in the fall with my depression.  As we drove away from the reunion I immediately broke down into tears and told Scott I didn't know what was wrong and why I was acting that way.  Boy did that sound familiar.  We immediately pinpointed the problem and I started back on my medication that night. 

A few weeks after our reunion, Scott and I got to go to Colorado and spent the majority of our time in Vail.  This was the high of our summer!  We both agreed that it was the best vacation we'd been on together, including our honeymoon.  I am so glad we decided on the mountains and we can't wait to go back and take Bailey.

 I had been dealing with an annoying cough for over 3 months.  Originally my doctor had told me it was just allergies, but I was tired of dealing with it and the symptoms were getting worse.  So Scott (of course), finally convinced me to go to see a doctor.  I just went to one of those drop in ones and he told me I had a sinus infection.  After about 5 days of taking the meds I was all better.  Why am I so stubborn?  I could have had it all long gone and not dealt with it for 3 months, but I just deal with stuff, instead of trying to get better.  Anyway, not long after I was done taking the meds I got sick again.  I was probably better for 2 days and then started feeling like I had strep.  I wasn't stubborn this time.  I immediately went to the doctor who diagnosed me with strep and I was better in a few days. 

A few days after I started feeling like myself again, we took Bailey to Sea World for the first time and got some other great family days in together.  Then for the first time all summer I finally felt like myself again.  No sinus infection or strep to deal with.  My sister wanted me to visit her in Midland, so I booked a flight and went by myself.  This was another major high for me!  I always love seeing Katie because nothing is EVER boring with her.  We had a total blast in Midland.  I went to a drive-in movie for the first time, threw popcorn at random strangers in a theater downtown (Summer Mummers), ate lots of yummy food, practiced our balance beam and floor routines in her living room, went shopping (which is amazing to do without a toddler), just sat around like a bum (which is also amazing to do without a toddler), danced the night away, and went to a pool party.  It was a busy weekend!

Then a week later, I got a phone call from my dad telling me to go to Seguin because my grandmother had double pneumonia and her kidneys had failed.  I headed to the nursing home right away.  We weren't really sure how much longer she had with us.  While my family met with the hospice nurse I stayed in the room with my grandmother.  I knew that she loved music, so I began to sing to her.  She opened her eyes just a little bit and looked at me and hummed along.  It was an amazing moment that I will never forget.  Shortly after the hospice nurse came to give her more medicine, my family prayed over her and said their good-byes before she passed away.  I'm so grateful that God let me have that moment with her.  He showed me again that His timing is always perfect.  She passed away only 8 weeks after my grandfather.  She couldn't stand being away from him for very long.  I will miss them both so very much, but I know how much pain they were in during their last year of life and how whole they are now with their Lord and Savior. 

I will miss my time off with Bailey and Scott that I got so much of this summer, but I am ready to put the summer of ups and downs behind me and looking forward to all the amazing things God has in store for me this school year!

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